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BDSM foot torture and femdom with Zarah

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Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies?
Is it possible for me to have a healthy sex-life if the only thing that arouses me is brutal rape fantasies?

I'm still a 29 year old virgin. Consent is just a huge turn-off for me. I feel no arousal from fantasies of cuddling or making "love". "Normal" porn barely gives me a woody. I want the girl to feel hurt, used, abused, humiliated, brokened.

BDSM may seem to be a solution. But the very things that make it bdsm make it a huge turn-off for me. The idea of taking advantage of a drunk college freshman girl and waking up to her feeling used, is more of a turn-on than bdsm spankings and whippings. Non-violent "grey" area consent where the girl feels humiliated and used the day after is far more of a turn on to me than "violent" bdsm.

Don't get the idea that I'm a misogynist that hates women. My head and heart aren't. Its all in my groin. I don't control it. But humiliation, sadism, domination is what turns me on. I would never chose that. But it is what it is.

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.

I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?

Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. I'm POSITIVE my fantasies would not be as extreme without the web. Its all the internets fault.

Your question was a bit long. Honestly, I think it is just a fantasy, being violent and reading violence on literotica are two different things. If you could honestly hurt/rape someone, if you feel like you have the potential to hurt someone, please get yourself some help.

Your question would of sufficed at a paragraph, which leads me to believe you wanted to upset people by graphically digressing into what turns you on. That's all fine and dandy, but it's what you do that matters. Taking delight in other people's pain on a forum, that upsets me, because I've used some of those forums myself, and I'm not trying to judge you, I'm just saying you shouldn't divulge that much of your sexual fantasies.

Bottom line, If they are fantasies, that's fine, if you ever act on them...You are sick, and you need mental counseling.

Is there anyway for me to have a healthy sex life if the only thing that turns me on is nonconsensual sex?
Is there anyway for me to have a healthy sex life if the only thing that turns me on is nonconsensual sex

I'm a 29 year old virgin. The thing is love and sex are totally separate for me. So I might sometimes fantasize about kissing and cuddling, but for me thats entirely separate from sex and leads no where. For me to be aroused the sex has to be painful, humiliating, degrading, abusive, and soul-crushing for the girl. There have been a few girls through my life, that I had feelings for and actually cared about. But what happens is no matter how hot they are, once I actually care about them, I can only fantasize about cuddling mooshy stuff, and the crush becomes totally de-sexualized. But they become so de-sexed I basically lose interest in them. This has only happened to 1 or 2 girls. Every other attractive girl I have ever met, even if I kinda like them, I still fantasize about brutally raping.

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I'm not bad to the girls I actually know.Its not that I don't have empathy. Its precisely because I can see it from the girl's point of view that its such a turn on. But just to be clear my fantasies don't stop me from being a gentleman in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it. The very things that make it BDSM and not rape, turn me off. I'm not turned on by the girl feeling safe or getting mutual pleasure or having a safety word. I want her to fear terrified and unsafe. I want her to hate and despise me. And I don't want her feeling any pleasure.

I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. Its all the internets fault.

You'll never have a truly "healthy" sex life.
Eventually you'll find a girl that's the exact same way you are. Or at least one who will enjoy revisiting past abuse.

Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies?
Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I'm not bad to the girls I actually know. I mean I might try to humiliate or degrade them emotionally or verbally in real life, and then wait till I get home to think about the incident and escalate it in fantasy to physical abuse. Its not that I don't have empathy. Its precisely because I can see it from the girl's point of view that its such a turn on. But just to be clear my fantasies don't stop me from being a gentleman in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?

Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. Its all the internets fault.

You honestly made my jaw drop, thank goodness I am no where close to you or I would have slapped the taste right out of your mouth. However having these fantasies is not healthy and could lead to you acting them out in RL. Rape is wrong period, it was wrong long ago and still is. Back in the old days however women were not really considered people but more sex toys and servants for men. I suggest you seek help from a therapist.

@Joe: Of course rape is severe, how would you feel if your GF or mother or sister was raped? Rape is just as bad as murder because it does often involve physical injuries and mental distress.

If a man pretends to be a victim at a rape survivor forum in order to satisfy fantasies is he harming anyone?
If a man pretends to be a victim at a rape survivor forum in order to satisfy fantasies is he harming anyone

I know how controversial this all is. Let me just say that what arouses me is purely biological, and I have no control over it. These sexual desires in no way affects how I view and treat women in real life. In my head and heart I have nothing by love for women and sympathy for those who have been hurt. It is my lower organ that take pleasure in it. I'm being completely honest in everything I say, and I ask for your understanding please.

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I'm not bad to the girls I actually know. I mean I might try to humiliate or degrade them emotionally or verbally in real life, and then wait till I get home to think about the incident and escalate it in fantasy to physical abuse. Its not that I don't have empathy. Its precisely because I can see it from the girl's point of view that its such a turn on. But just to be clear my fantasies don't stop me from being a gentleman in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.

I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?

Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. Its all the internets fault.

Yes. Here's why. They come to that forum for advice and support from real rape survivors, which you are not. You may think you're doing a good job fitting in, but it's very likely that you sometimes say things that are at least ever so slightly "off", and make them feel uncomfortable.

If you only read and never posted, that would be distasteful, but harmless. But actually participating in any discussion there under false pretenses is not harmless.

What you describe is not BDSM, which is a variety of CONSENSUAL activities between competent adults. Studying and practicing (as needed) to avoid causing lasting harm is perhaps one of the hallmarks of a real BDSM top or dominant. Getting real and informed consent, not breaking a bottom's limit, not harming a bottom even if consenting or appearing to consent, are others.

Please get help. You likely CAN find some consentual activities which satisfy you - if you want to. This is not the Internet's choice, this is yours.

Saying evolutionary psychology breeds humans to be rapists is nonsense - most breeding has been by non-rape, and selection of non-rapist mates, nor is rape more likely to impregnate than is consensual sex - which is more frequent, and thus evolutionarily rewarded, and thus if ANYTHING is bred into the species, it's cooperative sex.

Go to jail and see how turned on when Bubba is returning the favor. He likes to rape. Oh and it ISN'T in the groin. Your penis has to attractions. It IS a perversion in the mind. SEEK HELP.

well if you do end up raping some one and hopefully get caught i am sure you will get as much nonconcensual sex in prison as you want and on the recieving end too, i am sure you will end up being some ones b$%ch
good luck with that

Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies?
Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I'm not bad to the girls I actually know. I mean I might try to humiliate or degrade them emotionally or verbally in real life, and then wait till I get home to think about the incident and escalate it in fantasy to physical abuse. Its not that I don't have empathy. Its precisely because I can see it from the girl's point of view that its such a turn on. But just to be clear my fantasies don't stop me from being a gentleman in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?

Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. Its all the internets fault.

My answer comes in two parts:

#1 Wow you're #$&%ed up!

#2 As long as you are not posting or otherwise interfering with the forum, I can't think of anything objectively wrong with that.

Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies?
Do you think it is immoral for a man to use rape survivor forums as a place for him to satisfy his fantasies

I have been arousing myself to rape fantasies since I was 4 years old if not younger. It is common for young boys to pleasure their genitals but then stop until puberty during the latency period. But I guess I never stopped. So I mean I've been into it my whole life. I mean it started with me arousing myself not to sex but to just the idea of pain and humiliation. Around 10 I got focused on the idea of girls being hurt and humiliated by being stripped to their underwear and it just got more violent and brutal from there.

My mom caught some of my rape porn in the 5th grade and said she never wanted to see it again, although she caught me a few more times later. I got in trouble in 6th grade for making this "plan" to sexually harass a girl and force her to show her boobs and having all the boys in the grade sign their names to the list to show they were in on the plan. My name was at the top. But I mean it was just an innocent guyish joke. I wasn't even in a class when I got caught. We were just laughing at it, and a teacher grabbed it from us. I got sent to the dean. I've gotten in trouble a few times in high school and college over stuff related to fantasies. But it never involved actually hurting anyone.

And so I take great pleasure in reading news stories about real rapes, and spend all day watching rape movies.

And then I found rape survivor forums, which was a great way for me to revel in the humiliations of REAL rape victims. It was heaven. I just love hearing how broken they are. I can't imagine what it would be like to hear rape victims speak in real life.

I'm not bad to the girls I actually know. I mean I might try to humiliate or degrade them emotionally or verbally in real life, and then wait till I get home to think about the incident and escalate it in fantasy to physical abuse. Its not that I don't have empathy. Its precisely because I can see it from the girl's point of view that its such a turn on. But just to be clear my fantasies don't stop me from being a gentleman in real life.

I admit I feel a little guilty about it since there are girls who I know as wonderful human beings, and yet in my mind I fantasize about doing such horrible things to hurt them. But just to be clear once more, it DOES NOT affect how I actually treat them.

I have no interest in BDSM, since the whole point for me is that the girl does not consent or enjoy it.

I get no arousal whatsoever from normal consensual porn. Can you really blame me for that? I don't control what arouses me. And its not like I chose what to be turned on by at such a young age.

Just to be clear I have never actually hurt anyone and never would. Its all just fantasy. And even in my fantasies I don't like very extreme stuff like snuff or mutilation. My limits are torture and brutal beatings.

Do you think its immoral to use rape victim forums as erotic literature?

Is this a serious problem? I've never actually hurt anyone.

I mean is rape really the worst thing in the world? Does it deserve to be treated as bad as murder? I mean from evolutionary psychology you can see just how normal rape is in the animal world, and most of human history. Are animals and cavemen evil? So while I understand that we're at a time in history where its not ok to rape, when you realize just how recent it is in the eons of human and biological history, it seems natural that a lot of guys would still be turned on by rape.

I blame the internet, without it the only thing I would have is newspaper and hollywood. But there is just so much graphic material on the web. It throws oil onto the fire. I mean its just enriched and fueled and exploded my fantasies. Its all the internets fault.

You are a troll. Go away.

I think it is immoral. You are your thoughts. These women have been victimized, but I don't believe you could understand empathy, I think you're sociopathic